Gossip Girl Season 3 Episode 12: The Debarted

Things start off several hours into the future as Serena and Tripp are both wearing gender-appropriate stupid hats in Tripp’s philanderer-mobile as he declares his love for her.  Things turn all sorts of Chappaquiddick-flavored as Tripp swerves to avoid hitting a family of wolves who have escaped from Twilight and hits a guardrail, compacting the front end of his car and knocking Serena unconscious with a head wound. From there, the episode shifts back several hours into the time-space continuum to tell the story of how things got that way. By the end of the episode, things become further complicated for all of the Upper East Side crew, only resolved for a select few before Gossip Girl goes on winter break. 

At Casa de Van der Humphrey, Lily is reorganizing her closet obsessive compulsively, as most of the females on this show do in times of crisis.  Since Serena hasn’t been returning her phone calls, Lily is all verklempt, to the point of missing a condo association meeting, sending Rufus as her stand-in for him. Rufus obliges like a good little hubby and meets with Holland Campbell, a condo board meeting head who makes with the insta-TMI, divulging that “We all sacrifice ourselves for love,” particularly when your husband was nailing  your yoga teacher.